Celebrate solitude or loathe loneliness

This past weekend my favorite daughter found herself virtually alone on her college campus. She didn't like it. She sent me a text early in the weekend that said she thought she was going to go crazy. The gym, library and dining hall were all closed. The halls were silent.

I responded with some suggestions for activities...

1) look at lavishly expensive apartment rentals in Manhattan online
2) listen to music
3) watch movies
4) study ... hahahahahahahaaaaaa
5) call her Gakky
6) take photographs of items that start with the letters in her name
7) make a bucket list
8) look up exercise videos online and change up her workout a little

Apparently none of them were very exciting because within 24 hours she told me she was at her roommate's house in the Hudson River Valley.

Scott and I were traveling to Summit Point to the race track and had the opportunity to discuss the social stigma of being alone, the loss some people feel when they are not surrounded by others.  We acknowledged the fine line between solitude and loneliness.

I thought about people I know who are afraid to be alone.  The people, both male and female, who have made very bad relationship choices because they are afraid to be alone. It made me sad for them. If they cannot celebrate, or at least be comfortable with, who they are when they are alone, what do they have to offer a relationship? Do they immediately develop a dependence? And should they be unfortunate enough to find another who fears being alone, the symbiosis can be tragic. Are the two of them happy to be alone together?

The irony to this post is that Scott and I left Summit Point early because we were surrounded by other people. These people felt it was okay to run a generator to power bright lights until 2:30 a.m. and that everyone within two miles wanted to hear Alan Jackson's greatest hits.

Does the picture with this blog make you say, "aaahhhhh" or does it make you think the rower is a complete fool?

If you could be alone for 72 hours, what would you do?

Third time's the charm....

Today I realized I want to open the front door, open the back door, and tell people to come in and fill a bag with whatever they would like.  I will collect $5.00 for each full bag they have as the exit through the back door.

This will be my third cleansing in the past 5 years.

I purged when I moved because of my divorce.

I purged when I moved to Scott's house when we got married.

I am ready to do it again...

Each time I clean out "stuff" I find the emotional attachments are weaker and weaker. There are items sitting on shelves and in boxes in the attic that I am ready to let go of.  Some I thought I might need and others I kept simply because I didn't want anyone else to have them.

The clutter is weighing me down and I feel like I am drowning under the weight.  It is making me unhappy and that is a clear indicator to me that it is time for this stuff to go.

With just one week between my last day of work and the start of my clinical portion of my schooling, I am not sure I can get it all cleaned out, but I am sure going to try.

So keep an eye out... there might be several mini-yard sales over the next couple months.  I think it will be incredibly freeing!

Wandering daughter....

I knew the time would come, hoping for later rather than sooner, when Kate would ask to drive back to college. Her latest persuasive speech really is legitimate.  If she drives back to Kean this Sunday, she can drive home for Easter. That means I don't have to drive down on Saturday before Easter and return her the Monday after Easter, following at least four hours of driving on Easter Sunday.  Essentially she will save me seven hours of driving on a holiday weekend.

Scott and I talked about it and he reminded me that Kate has risen to every challenge she has been given.  She has had a very successful first semester at Kean University.  She has never given us reason not to trust her.  But, as moms know, it isn't her I don't trust.  It is those other idiots on the highways and byways...

So, the preparations began.

1) We decided she must leave before noon on Sunday.
2) We reminded her that Cabela's is not only almost exactly in the middle of her journey, but it is also a very convenient place to stop with food and fuel and plenty of people.
3) We reminded her the last exit in PA is NOT a good place to stop, with the gas station down a gravel road in an industrial area and both two-legged and four-legged mongrels lingering around the dumpster.
4) We handed over about $20.00 in quarters for tolls.
5) We scheduled the truck for an oil change on Friday.
6) We signed her up for a AAA membership.
7) We had her drive to her grandparent's house yesterday which is about half the time/distance to Kean and includes some considerably congested traffic patterns.
8) Scott called to see if her "college student" insurance coverage would cover her having her car on campus for two weeks.

I will check her GPS before she leaves.

I'm not sure there is much else we can do.  Oh wait... call my doctor for some sedatives to get me through the day on Sunday.  :O)  She's got this.  I've raised her to be a strong, independent, capable young lady.  She has to get out there to continue to grow. But, she knows if she changes her mind, we'll load up the new Ford Escape and give it a test run on I78 and the Garden State Parkway.

Wondering what I was thinking...

This evening I sat here and wondered... "what was I thinking?!".

In the past three weeks I have:

1. started tearing down wallpaper to paint a hallway and stairwell
2. helped Scott start to tear down a fence to facilitate a shared fence between our house and the neighbor
3. adopted a dog with the attention span of a toddler
4. felt compelled to pack a lunch for Scott that causes lunch envy at least twice a week when he opens his meal at work
5. started to declutter and reorganize drawers and storage spaces
6. attempted to alleviate Scott of 95% of the household chores so he can focus on his trigonometry class

Is it any wonder that I came down with a miserable cold on Sunday? When will I learn that I really do not have to take on the world each and every morning?  How old does a woman have to be to stop multi-tasking?

Yet somehow, in the midst of it all...  the more I have to do, the more I manage to get done.  Am I the only one?

Rich White Girl

I went to Jersey to spend a day with Kate on Saturday.  She needed some art supplies, some cleaning supplies and some food that didn't come from the dining hall or a microwave. It can be a long day, driving there, shopping and then driving home.  I decided to stay the night.  There is a hotel in Parsippany that has become our favorite. It is elaborate on the outside and tastefully elegant on the inside.  The weekend rates are outrageously low because their big money comes from corporate clients during the week.

Kate posted a picture of our room on Facebook.

Her friends from college responded that she was a rich white girl.  

Hmmmm...  if they only knew that we:

1) live in a semi-detached house with a 37 x 100 foot yard

2) have no television cable

3) only buy used cars

4) usually camp when we vacation

5) rarely go out to eat

6) have only calling and texting on our phones - no internet - no smartphones

7) eat store brand foods most of the time

8) we rarely spend full price on any of our purchases, waiting for sales

9) think a perfect Friday night is going for a walk in a heavy snowstorm with our dogs 

How does that make her a rich white girl? 

We make choices about when and where we want to spend our money. 

Would she and I have slept as well in a cheaper hotel? Maybe, but maybe not. 

The bed was perfect. 

The room was immaculate. 

The service was extraordinary. 

We had no worries...we could simply enjoy our time together.  That, my friends, is priceless...   money cannot buy that. 

First frat party

"Hey Mom!  I'm calling so you don't freak out.  I'm just tellin' ya I'm goin' to a frat party with the girls tonight."

"Um... okay."

"I just need a break. I won't drink or do anything stupid."

"Um...  okay."

"I wanna go dance and hang out with people."

"Um... okay.  Will you text me when you get back to your dorm?"

"I guess. Hey.... can I call you back in like two minutes?

"Um...  okay.  I love you."

And somehow, after that short little conversation, all I could think about was John Belushi. 

I did get a text at 1:00 a.m. that said she was back in her dorm and she was smart. I don't know if I'll get any further explanation on the  "smart" comment. 

This morning I wondered...  

How street smart is my child? 

Did she only drink bottled water that had a sealed lid or a soda from an unopened can? 

Are there pictures out there somewhere with her holding a "red solo cup"?

Who is learning more during this college experience?  It just might be me....

White, bright, to shine...

We will be adding a new star to our blog.  I am pleased to introduce Birka.  Her name means "white, bright, to shine."  It is the root word for the word Birch.  She is at the SPCA waiting to be spayed.  We hope to pick her before the weekend arrives.

While Scott and I were on our honeymoon we enjoyed the white birch trees in Maine.  The birch tree is a symbol of renewal, new beginnings.   

So, here is to new beginnings with Birka our latest addition to the family. 

Stay tuned for more wandering and wondering ....